Pushing Boundaries...
On the office wall of a former police boss of mine, is a rather nice hand-painted sign. Its the sort of thing that you might see in a show house kitchen with those homely ‘love life - love prosecco!’ messages on it. This one reads differently. The words it carries are apparently an old Manx saying;
“The things that give us the most pleasure, are those that others say we cannot do.”
Like that boss, it is clever. Depending on how you interpret it you will be sent down one of two routes. But when it is on the wall of your manager, you’d better be sure you’ve interpreted it the right way!
In the first instance, it is incredibly motivational. Here we are, faced with a monumental task, and people are stood all around us saying it can’t be done! Organisationally that might be something like reaching an ambitious turnover target, or in policing, turning crime figures round and transforming a neighbourhood. At a personal level, it might be being told we will never achieve a position, or a goal. Apparently Elvis was advised he’d be better of going home and driving trucks at one point!
Overcoming that which others say is impossible is indeed a pleasurable experience. Although it is important to remain magnanimous in victory, there is a degree of delight to be had in proving people wrong. And sometimes others disbelief can be catalysing - driving us forward. Equally though, it can defeat us, lowering our self worth and causing people to throw the towel in far too early. A good leader knows where the balance is.
On the flipside, the saying has a much more mischievous meaning; “So you say I can’t do it eh?” Sir Douglas Bader is attributed with declaring; “Rules are for the obedience of fools, and the guidance of wise men.” He was a maverick - frequently in trouble for bending the rules. It reminds me too of Captain Barbossa in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, who declared the honourable Pirate’s Code to be more, “Guidelines!”
Some people thrive on mischief and being in trouble. But most of us find it an incredibly stressful experience. On more than one occasion, I had left my boss’s office with an instruction, carried it out with diligence and vigour, only to return and be told “That’s not what I wanted/ told you to do!” It was soul-destroying, but in a hierarchical rank structure I was always ‘top trumped’. Until I learned a better way - asking for terms of reference.
Immediately after leaving his office, I’d email him with a summary of our discussion, what I understood he wanted, and what parameters I believed he wanted me to operate within. I’d then get a reply with either agreement, or clarification. Either way, I could proceed with confidence. There could be no misinterpretation. I could follow the brief, and he would get the product he wanted. It worked well, so I started to do it pre-emptively with my own people.
Clarity is so important. We all have a different frame of reference, and interpret the world through our own filters. That is why the sign on my bosses wall could be read in two very different ways. When we are providing a service for someone, whether a customer or a colleague, taking time to understand precisely what they want saves on time, energy and upset.
How do your people interpret your wishes? If you find that you have frequent misunderstandings, maybe it is something to think about.
Derek Flint Cert. Ed., MCIPR